a (disappointing) conversation with buddhist monks

Like many Westerners who self-describe as spiritual, I think I'm low-key Buddhist. I meditate, I try not to hurt others, and I like the idea that I've met some of you in a past life.

So I was excited to be in Thailand, which is 99% Buddhist. There are just as many temples here as there are churches in Ohio. These temples are run by monks, which means there are also Buddhist monks everywhere in Thailand. Some of them are eight years old, some of them are eighty. There are signs in public transit to give up your seat for a monk. Being in Thailand for a month made me wonder what the religion looks like when it is standard practice instead of niche spirituality. It has inspired a lot of questions, some of which I have experienced with Christianity: if the Buddha/Jesus is about austerity, why are the temples/churches so ornate? Are monks the chill, pure, approachable spiritual beings I imagine them to be?

So Yorckh and I went to a Monk Chat. It's a weekly invitation for foreigners to meet and get to know monks (and Buddhism), while monks get to practice their English. Everybody wins except Yorckh, who doesn't care about Buddhism or helping practice English.

On Monk Chat day, Yorckh and I were seated with six monks at a table. They're all from Myanmar (I asked them about calling it Burma: "It's called Myanmar now"), but they are from different areas so they each have a native language and all speak fluent Burmese and increasingly passable English.

They wanted to talk about religion specifics like, "What are the rules from your religion?" Yorckh tried to explain the Ten Commandments but could only remember 6, I was no help. The monks also wanted to talk about the very wild and free decision for Catholics to drink wine in church with which, once again, I was no help.

After awhile we got to ask some questions ourselves and started off with a light one about death. They said death is just a cycle of lives. We asked about those lives - they said there are so many living beings that the odds of being reincarnated into a human body is slim. If you get that chance, you have to make the most of it by going after nirvana.

I asked about Buddhist stances on abortion rights and gay marriage. In hindsight, not a fair question. If someone asked me Christianity's stances on gay marriage I'd be like, "Which Christian are you asking?" These Buddhists were clear on where their beliefs fall: nope nope nope. LGBTQQ rights came up and were also shot down. This is an interesting topic in Thailand because ladyboys are a traditional part of Thai culture. The existence of nonbinary genders is easier for Thai culture to wrap its head around than mainstream US culture.

But I was talking to Burmese monks, who were absolutely not down with ladyboys. According to one of them, the Buddha's issue with ladyboys started a long time ago when a ladyboy tried to become a monk. She put on the saffron robes and went outside. Everyone saw that she was a ladyboy and a monk, so they thought all monks were ladyboys. Buddhism doesn't want monks to have this reputation, so ladyboys shouldn't be monks.

I had an obnoxious white person moment because I just couldn't imagine the Buddha making this same weak, fear-based argument but I also was not going to tell Buddhist monks what the Buddha would or wouldn't say. This is not new, though, when I think about the different interpretations and representations of Jesus. He is often depicted as white ~for Christ's sake~.



We asked about the monk look - why robes? Why shaved heads? Response: robes change depending on country. Thailand goes for orange/gold/brown color schemes, Myanmar is more red/maroon. Other differences between the two countries - monks in Myanmar enjoy activities like swimming and playing soccer. Monks in Thailand don't do these things because it lowers their public image. The monks we spoke to are really jonesing to play soccer again.

The shaved heads remind monks to get over themselves, to paraphrase. Shaved heads prevent fussing with your hair, making your hair about your looks, or having a personal identity. One monk pointed to Yorckh and said, "You think I don't want to be handsome like you? But I can't, because it uses my time wrongly and indulges my ego."

I was raised Evangelical Christian so I've heard the phrase, "God is in this place" many many times. Jesus is in your heart. God is in the room, etc. So I have a hard time wrapping my mind around where Buddha is. I know the Buddha is not God, I know, but I saw no less than 500 golden statues of him in Thailand so he feels like more than a mere mortal. I asked the monks, "Where is the Buddha?" And they l looked at each other like this question was beside the point. If you don't think of Buddha as "God" it's like, who cares he's just the messenger.

They responded that "the Buddha no longer has life." As someone who was raised to think I only have one life, I just say people are alive or dead. But when you're thinking that everyone has many lives, you phrase it a differently. He doesn't have lives anymore. He's life-free. He's not dead, he's out there in nirvana. They said they don't pray/talk to Buddha, that wouldn't make sense. He's simply not around. They never said he is "gone" or "dead" just that he's in another space in another shape or form.

It is with a heavy heart that I inform readers that my new monk friends were Trump supporters. I started the topic, I admit. I asked these men of Myanmar how they feel about the Rohingya - an ethnic group experiencing genocide in Northern Myanmar/Southern Bangladesh. It's a big human rights issue and #1 international sensi topic. The main monk I had been talking with laid it down simply and sternly: the Rohingya are lying about everything, having tons of babies, and messing up Burmese culture. I asked some pointed follow up questions but they turned the tables and suddenly I was being asked how I feel about Trump. I don't need to reiterate my response. Then they asked Yorckh, a self-respecting Mexican, and he answered the same.

They asked if Trump is "a good man or a bad man" and I was like, you know what, this is one person I'm fine painting with a broad brush. He bad. Two monks in particular responded that Trump is actually good because he is fighting terrorism, which they've been keeping up with through the media.

That was a hard pill to swallow. I wanted to be like, "I trusted you! What about peace and nonjudgment!" Western Buddhism makes you think that Buddhists are the most accepting, non-judgmental, stay-in-their-lane folks out there. I know it is my fault that I was shocked. Of course there is a difference between the Buddhism I encounter at the Manhattan All Saints Church and Burmese monks in studying temple in Thailand. But at the same time, I had imagined some universal Buddhist beliefs that overcome hate, fear, and prejudice in a way that Western religions don't.

Since then, I've been reading about the "unbundling" of Buddhism in the West. How we have broken Buddhism down into its parts - mindfulness, meditation, compassion - and embraced them individually as opposed to learning and accepting the whole, which includes reincarnation, women as inferior to men, and gender binaries, among other things.

I still have a lot of reading to do and other monks (especially lady monks) to chat up, but for now I'll be unbundling Buddhism, too.